WiltedHope

I think I spent the last year running and I tried to settle down before my feet were planted firmly on the ground. I spent the last year searching for someone to fill me up and found it in all the wrong ways and when it finally came around to something good I found a reason to run again. I have crept under the moonlight and begged her to hold me. It was the only constant something that you taught me. I want to beckon the warm, summer concrete and the days where we were spilling drinks, tripping over each other, singing in the middle of the night, sneaking phone calls. The days of ink in the furniture and stealing your t shir

There's a video of a house burning and you're begging for something with sugar. I waited to hear your voice and cried when I heard your laughter. I read words that were meant to go to me, and sarcastic bits about that film. Reminds me of that day I hid for a while and we lied to their faces with a big, summer smile. I can't get you out of your head, can't get you out of mine. I feel like I'm on fire and it burns like that promise ring. I was always your June, a summer that lasted years, a star for your dreams, a shotgun to the ones that brought your fears. You always spoke to me like a princess, like I was delicate cargo amo

There's someone in my house, I hold his hand and drag him around until someone notices then I fold him back into the ground. There's someone in my house, keeping my bed warm, stealing the corner of my couch, making my head swarm making my heart ache making my stomach turn making every piece of this place a reminder. There's someone here that holds my waist and wishes my hair was long, tracing down my back like a map. He holds me down when I shine, wakes me in the middle of the night with feverish kisses and hushed laughter and leaves me when I cry. Never far away but never close enough. Never something I can touch. Beca

I wrote to you everyday I just didn't have time for pen and paper, and planned what I would say when I finally saw you, but it was always later. I may not have loved you like I loved before and I made the mistake of thinking that's okay, because it all takes time. Time I couldn't give, I suppose. Time you didn't understand. But you will be okay, and you will give more than she ever hoped for. She will have everything I wanted. I just hope she has the courage I don't, to ask for more.

I think God left again, and in the wake remains the dream uplifted by angel eyes. I think God left again, and in the absence everything returns with a force like crushing fists. In the silence the beauty seeps away and creatures rush through the cracks taunting with faces in the ash. In the emptiness I pray but the time creeps along. In the hollow shell I cry throwing boxes much like bombs. The photos rain down on my head with the sounds of artillery guns, and I retreat to the floor beckoning God back into my home "What have you done?"

Nails on a chalkboard resonating through her ears tears drying from squinted eyes and push away just in time. A special gift to learn how to cope, her baby hands overflowing, too much to hold. A memory she's made small, folded gently and placed in a box in her closet, taped shut with a nostalgic color and messily written a warning. Promises that turn to secrets, not difficult to do, and broken hearts, darling, yours is too. A title that belongs to only one, never uttered again just to keep her safe, keep him contained. One would know the meaning behind the riddle, what silly girl means, what honey seeps from baby doll

Shut your eyes we'll see how long you can make it with your eyes closed When you open them maybe I'll be back and a part of your breathing. Surround myself with sunshine but in my dreams I see city lights I see sharp colors instead of pastel creams. Your touch is acute, a current through every nerve setting off my brain, a hand rushing up the walls. You are an earthquake, a plane crash, enough to tear the walls down enough to break me up and gentle enough to bring me back again.

Outside there was fire, sex, drugs and rock and roll and inside I bet it was cold. I have felt your longing. I have kept your tears, your struggles your nightmares. I have heard you calling. I know your dreams, your thoughts, your demons, the worst secrets you hide. The look upon your face is tearing me apart from the inside. Christmas was torture wasn't it? And no one was there. I wonder if you get phone calls, if you'll get a postcard. I can see that stubborn jaw, the dark eyes that to any other person would be empty but I find tears. And anger. Regret. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I don't know where I'm supposed to be

I see a six sided box, elongated sides and a curved top. I was the only one who cried. It was quiet and no one was very surprised. You always said you wanted it and I could always tell when you lied. No one breathed and the world blanched a bit. They stood with their unforgiving faces and ground the roses in their fists. I was the only one that stayed. Last night you were in New York, standing over the stairs. It was like memento mori but I could see you struggling. A scrapbook of caves of friendships, now meaningless words. we were both drowning and you walked right through me, sucked out all my air. Withdrew me. Double